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Pursuing Failure - You're bad at being kind to yourself

Alex Chaveriat
Alex Chaveriat
Biffing it at 12 MPH and hating myself
Flying down the street about 12 MPH on my new OneWheel. I just got it and had all the confidence with none of the comprehension.
I took a MASSIVE fall on the concrete. I completely biffed it. Two things happened:
  1. I lost a ton of confidence
  2. I was PISSED at myself (though this came later for the reasons I will jump into)
Lost Confidence - Dunning-Kruger Effect
Each time you pick up a new skill, part of it is experiencing the Dunning- Kruger effect. With hacking, it seems like a weekly occurrence. As an aside, we have all been at the “enlightenment” phase looking back at “Mount Stupid” people with both irritation and annoyance with a dash of embarrassment and head-shaking reminiscence remembering when we were there. Mentioning this for my point of enlightenment later.
The Dunning–Kruger effect is a hypothetical cognitive bias stating that people with low ability at a task overestimate their own ability, and that people with high ability at a task underestimate their own ability.
Getting PISSED
After I wrapped my arm and put every one of my daughter’s My Little Pony bandaids all over me (as my wife ran out to the store to get some “Big Boy” ones), I quickly found TONs of Reddit posts talking about the low battery nose dives. I got just a tiny little bit upset thinking I should have known this before I got on. Alright, I was PISSED. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS. I AM AN IDIOT. WHY DIDN’T I KNOW THIS. CRAP, SO STUPID. I could have avoided this road rash, palm bruises, a massive gash on my arm - is that bone I see? It took a while for me to stop and give myself some patience and remember I started a newsletter about failing and failing better; how failing is part of learning. I then again proceeded to berate myself 🤦‍♂️.
Here is the thing… I am an idiot, and I accept that. But not for not knowing about the OneWheel “issue.” For every month day hour, remember to have some self-love, patience, and understanding that failure is often a good thing.
We are remarkably forgiving of others. I wonder if this is because, for others, we see their experiencing failure and acknowledge it as part of the journey since we are further along the knowledge path (Dunning-Kruger Effect) and recognize that it is typical to fail, heck, expected. We are kind to others because we understand there is so much more to know.
That could be overthinking it and we simply like being a jerk to ourselves. I feel I have learned this lesson of “Be kind to yourself” every month since elementary school, yet decades later I still need reminders every so often.
I hope this email is a reminder to cut yourself some slack, you are learning and learning to fail better.
Love yourself and hack on,
😌 My Quote of the Week
“We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others.”
– John Lennon
🤘 My Favorite Things This Week
Friends wedding - I was a Groomsman at my friend’s wedding. This is most likely going to be my last wedding standing up in. I was smiling so much my cheeks hurt. It has been a while since being that happy.
Bachelor party (a few weeks ago) - This was kinda hilarious - I was asked multiple times, “Did you go to a strip club?” - The answer is no. Truthfully, we sat around an Airbnb complaining about lawn care and played tons of Secret Hitler.
Community Post Interaction - I was not expecting to get any comments or votes. It was a great surprise seeing subscribers vote. I was definitely not refreshing YouTube every 5 minutes watching it.
🚽 Things That Are Gross
Getting rekt on a OneWheel - Because of the chunk taken out of my arm, I needed to stay out of the lake for a couple of weeks. My daughter was quite upset that she was not able to splash me.
Slow on YouTube videos, newsletter, and missing live streams - With so many life events happening it was hard to prioritize videos and letters. Though the distance was good because it made me realize how much I miss it. About a week away from going back to “normal” but I am looking forward to it.
🎥 YouTube Videos This Week
I did a Q & A for the 1000 subscriber milestone. I find myself wanting to do more videos like it since it starts drawing out my personality more.
Q & A - 1,000 Subscribers!
Q & A - 1,000 Subscribers!
I like this one simply because of the “secret” Gourry video I threw in.
Debriefing My DEF CON 29... and Gourry
Debriefing My DEF CON 29... and Gourry
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Alex Chaveriat
Alex Chaveriat @alexchaveriat

Hey-o, I'm Alex, or Silk among the hacking community. I'm a hacker, information security geek, father, coffee snob, YouTuber, Chief Innovation Officer, DEF CON goon, and I pursue failure. Failing often and failing better each time. Every week I write about that pursuit, stories, and what I am learning on the journey. Hope you enjoy and hack on.

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