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Pursuing Failure - Self-love is a naughty term... right?

Alex Chaveriat
Alex Chaveriat
"Self-Love" is a R-rated thing, right?
The first time I heard “self-love” I had an involuntary giggle - yes, at times I have the humor of a child. The first time I saw “self-love” was a bunch of narcissistic photos and ads online by what looked like models watching a sunset or having a bubble bath. Each photo I am sure must have taken hours with many takes. Each posted on social media with silly captions like #loveyourself, #selflove, #bepresent.
I think the idea of self-love or self-help started in a great place, though over time social media made it a gross thing; feeding narcissism, overindulgence, and justifying spending stupid amounts of money on temporal things like lavish spa treatments or a brand new MacBook.
These past few weeks, I think I discovered what self-love is.
Self-love is the relentless pursuit of long-term self-betterment. Developing your future self. So when you look back at the present, you smile at your progress. Making decisions that give you the best long-term mental and physical health.
It is not easy, self-love takes work. It is not lavish spas or ridiculous vacations, heck it is not even all that enjoyable at the moment. It might be dropping toxic relationships or getting that project done that has been weighing you down. (This is why I haven’t gotten a video or newsletter out for a bit - I had a large project I finally pushed through 🤘).
Self-love is making choices now that serve you long-term. Going on a diet, going to therapy, dropping social media, or toxic people. Self-love is not the glamourous stuff you put in photos, it is the uncomfortable backroom work that gives you long-term satisfaction so when you look back at the present you are proud of where you are. And yes, that might be a bubble bath or buying a brand new MacBook 🤔 occasionally.
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. What do you think of self-love?
Thanks for reading and hack on,
😌 My Quote of the Week
“You’re doing a Gouda job! I know that sounds cheesy, but I thought you needed to hear it.”
Donut Give Up [A book my wife bought for our daughter]
🤘 My Favorite Things This Week
Obsidian Is Live - If you have watched the live streams lately, I have gushed about a piece of software called I started a public vault at I am moving off of Notion.
Website Is Live - I spun up a website at There is not much there now, but it is nice to finally have something set up that doesn’t require some expensive hosting. I am sure it will develop over time.
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Alex Chaveriat
Alex Chaveriat @alexchaveriat

Hey-o, I'm Alex, or Silk among the hacking community. I'm a hacker, information security geek, father, coffee snob, YouTuber, Chief Innovation Officer, DEF CON goon, and I pursue failure. Failing often and failing better each time. Every week I write about that pursuit, stories, and what I am learning on the journey. Hope you enjoy and hack on.

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